When The Music’s Over…

Having lost faith in this country several years ago, I have been baffled in the past few weeks as to why President Bush’s approval ratings have been so low lately. I figured it was just a brief period in a cycle that miraculously sees more ups than downs. After all, like everything else in life, presidential approval ratings seem to be cyclical, especially in the second term where our most recent presidents seem to have the bulk of their problems. For Clinton, it was Lewinsky, for Reagan, it was Iran Contra, and for Nixon, it was Watergate. The list goes on and on. You can only hold the damn back for so long and those lucky enough to do if for four years are rewarded with four more, though these tend to be much more humiliating and less productive.
Bush hasn’t experienced any one giant scandal like his fellow two-termers, but rather small problem after small problem after small problem. Many of them have spilled-over from the first term. He held back the wrath of his sins as long as he could, but the music’s over and it’s time to pay the piper. After all, the piper played so well.
Times are tough, though, and Bush knows this better than anyone. His ratings have reached an all-time low, and are now matching Nixon’s ratings just before he left office. Jack Abramoff, Tom Delay, and Trent Lott have all played a role in this. Condoleezza Rice is still as creepy as ever, and no one knows what Rumsfeld and Cheney are going to do next, though one can be sure that bloodshed will be involved either directly or indirectly. All these people have plagued the president lately, but a wise man once said that presidencies are won and lost on one square foot of real estate (the brain, if you don’t already know that one), and Bush has no one to blame but himself. He’s tried to blame other people, and other people have been more than happy to take the bullet for him. It is their duty after all. However, all the white house aides in the world won’t be able to shield Bush from the novenas he has to make these days. Something has to give.
Bush has really tried to turn things around lately. He staged a highly publicized “shake-up” of the west wing, which was little more than a transparent attempt to give the impression things were changing by replacing radical conservatives with even more radical conservatives. These people would run for office themselves if they lived in districts with voters who would have elected Adolph Hitler if he hadn’t tried to kill all of us. But they live in terrible times, and are forced to serve a mumbling jackass who can’t get his shit together. So they do it the best way they know how, they steal what they can and run.
Aside from this radical staffing change, Bush has tried to implement some new policies. He decided it would be wise to invent the word “compromise.” It’s a crazy notion where you find a middle ground with someone you disagree with and that way you can both go away satisfied. Bush used this novel new method to end the immigration debate, and is using it with Iran. Rice announced today that the Bush administration would be entering into talks with the Iranian government. It was either the need to raise his ratings, or the fact that there are no soldiers left to fight that made Bush want to talk to these people. It would be nice to be a fly on the wall during these talks, but it probably won’t happen. After all, I don’t expect much talking to be going on. There will probably be a lot of yelling, and even a few fistfights, but nothing will get accomplished. But maybe I’m wrong, Perhaps Rumsfeld will break the Iranian military attaché’s legs, and feel bad about it. He will apologize by taking him out for ice cream at the insistence of Cheney where they will slowly start to talk and come to an understanding, and dare I say, gain a respect for each other. It will be quite the Kodak moment.

If you’re like me (a Democrat) you’re probably praying every night that this slump will last through November, and God willing, we will take back the house due to overwhelming concerns over the state of the GOP. However, our problem is that there is even greater concern on our side over the state of the Democratic Party. Senator Harry Reid, a way too silent leader of the party is in trouble for accepting boxing tickets from the Nevada gaming industry, and now faces accusations of bribery. Rep. William Jefferson’s (D) office was seized by the FBI, making it the first time that has ever happened at the capitol, and he’s not giving up without a fight.
We’re shooting ourselves in the foot, to say nothing of the fact that we have no plan, like Newt Gengrich’s “Contract with America” that the press has been so eager to draw parallels with.
So what do we do about this? The answer seems to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue, but we’ve all gone deaf, and no one can agree on the exact dialect of that answer. People bicker about abortion and gay marriage, and all the democratic topics that get our hearts a thumpin’, but we can’t come up with one steady message, and that will be our downfall.
I say we do what FEMA is doing. Pack it all in, start from the beginning, and pretend the last six years didn’t happen. Who’s with me? “Democrat” has been made into a dirty word anyways by the Republicans and we’re letting them. So why not come up with a new word? How about “moth?” The moth has a short memory and we’ll have no problem forgetting our past. So who wants to join the Moth party? Anyone? Fine, have it your way.
In all likelihood, we’ll win some of the house seats back this November, but not enough. We’ll spend two more years in misery, and then we’ll probably lose to someone who isn’t as bad as Bush, but still makes us cringe. Why fix it if it’s only three-quarters broke?

However, I could be wrong, and we may make a turn around before long. Anything’s possible. Either way, I think it’s important for us to think about the past six years. What was it that actually happened? I believe the answer to this lies in an analysis of Bush’s public persona. I’m not about to say anything new here, but it’s the first time for me, so just deal with it, or stop reading. I highly recommend you do the latter.
Bush is playing the role of the strong alpha male. He is stubborn, strong in his beliefs, and doesn’t waver. One only has to spend an evening watching television to understand that the strong male is what we American’s worship. Tony Soprano is probably the best example. He’s stubborn and strong and knows how to lead. But probably the most important thing to remember is that he’s not stupid. He doesn’t have book smarts, but he’s shrewd and knows how to get what he wants. He uses his charm and it always works. There’s no middle ground with this man. You’re either for him, or against him. Any time spent thinking is time wasted. If you can’t make up your mind in fifteen seconds, you can’t make up your mind. And never in a million years admit you’re wrong. Tony Soprano is the best example, but there are hundreds on television. And what do you think President Bush has been doing the past six years? He was certainly not governing. No, he’s been watching television and taking notes. And that’s the man we see on television every day. It’s why he walks like a gorilla in front of the cameras, and it’s why, until recently, he hasn’t wavered on any of his policies. It’s also why I believe this latest scheme of compromising will fail. He may not have been doing well in the polls, but he was winning them where they counted, and now that the curtain has been pulled back to reveal a spineless flip-flopper (I hate that word, but I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine) with no scruples of any kind. No one will be able to respect a man like that.
So I may have misspoken earlier when I said we Democrats are doomed. We may only be partially doomed. And with that, I will let you go. I apologize for today, it was not my best day, and I hope to return next time with something to say worth saying, and maybe you’ll forgive me. Of course, I’ll have my self-confidence back then, so I won’t really give two shits either way. You can all go to hell. Good night.